Thursday, 16 February 2012

* Captain Underpants

... after an incredibly successful date with Claire, Yves felt the need to take a nap in Claire's bed whilst she was at work. He'd worn his favourite sexy (or so he thought) underpants in the hopes of getting a little more out of the date than a meal and a snog - these were his lucky underpants, because he'd always *gotten lucky* when he'd worn them in the past.

Davy Linell was downstairs reading a book (because he couldn't get into Beth's bedroom to wake her up) and was getting bored, so he decided to go upstairs and wake up Yves for some manly conversation...

"So I said to her 'babeee, you know I'm gonna rock your world!', then I shake my tush at her, in these underpants - they're my lucky ones - and she was like 'Yves, babeee - lets have a lot of the woohoo now!'"

Davey decided the book he'd been reading about Aliens contained less fiction than Yves sentence. So he went back downstairs to read it... passing by the space on the landing where Beth's bedroom door was when he wasn't babysitting.

Having failed to impress Davy with his tales of sexual prowess, Yves made himself something to eat and whilst he washed up, practiced shaking his tush in a sexy fashion whilst singing to himself...

"I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants, too sexy for paaaaaaaaaaants... I'm a Frenchman, you know what I meeeeean when I shake my little tush in my pants yeah... in my pants yeah... I'm a Frenchman yeah, and I'm really dead sexy in my pants yeah".

He waited up as long as he could, then decided just to slip back into Claire's bed and try his luck in the morning.

Claire returned from work in the wee hours and slid into bed beside him. She hadn't actually expected him to still be there when she got home, and there was no way she was sleeping on the sofa. When she woke the following morning, Yves had already arisen and was singing something under his breathe whilst wriggling his backside back and forth and preparing breakfast for them both.

He stopped - abruptly - when he saw her standing behind him with a confused smile on her face.

He moved towards her and cupped her face in the palm of his hands... Claire's heart missed an emotional beat... then...

"So - Yves is wearing the sexy lucky underpants and he thinks it is time for making the woohoo now, yes?"
"Making the what now? You want woohoo?"
"Yes. I am wearing the underpants of love and I want the woohoo now." Yves seemed slightly less certain.
"The underpa - You think I'm going to have woohoo with you because you have little red hearts all over your knickers????"
Yves was shocked and his voice went up an octave - "Zay are UNDERPANTS... not KNICKERS! A Frenchman does not wear KNICKERS!!!"

"Does a Frenchamn expect woohoo at the end of the first date?"
"Sometimes zee second date, ma cherie. You want to go for ice-cream, we make the woohoo when we come back? There's usually a truck outside the house for some strange reason. I get you ice-cream yes? Then we woohoo?"
Claire started to feel a little sorry for him. He was obviously a novice when it came to *woo-ing* and had thought that being French would be enough of a convincer to get  his leg over.
"No, I don't want ice-cream, Captain Underpants."
"Who is this Captain Underpants? It is me, yes?"
"Yes... you want to go make woohoo now?" ... she had needs too. Seemed slightly daft to cut her nose off to spite her face.

"Yes, lets go make the woohoo now... You like my underpants?"
"Yes." She sighed, "I like your shut up and kiss me."

Afterwards... after the *make lots of woohoo*, Yves and Claire lay smugly satisfied, side by side on her bed. Unexpectedly, the woohoo had been more than wonderful.

Yves sighed a happy sigh... "I think I am in love with you. My underpants have never worked so well."
Claire stifled a laughed snot bubble. She was incredibly happy and she wanted it to last... only one way to make that happen...

She asked Captain Underpants to marry her.

He said yes.


  1. Replies
    1. They'll be fine! I have complete control *cheesy grin*.

    2. But he's French! You can't trust them ;-)

    3. Claire just thinks he has a goofy accent. If you don't tell her he's French, I won't either ;)

  2. Firstly, well done on the title of the chapter *claps* it had me in giggles before I even started! Secondly, what a great update! I am quite excited to see Claire get married, she always seemed so glum in my game.

    - Lemon

    1. Lemon, those underpants were generated by the game and they were so damn appropriate after the Valentines Date, that I had to give them an entire story of their own. I'm glad you enjoyed it xx

      Have to ask... *Starlightdiner*?

  3. *dies of laughter*

    OMG...Yves and his underpants of love...brilliant.

  4. Hahahahahaha! After seeing that title I just HAD TO come to check this! And I don't regret it! So, when's the wedding?

    1. They already got married, right there in the bedroom ;) - It was almost Saturday night (in game) and time to switch to a new family, so they did it quick, before I left 'em :D

    2. Yep, that's so Claire's... (Or so yours, I dunno. :p) Um, I wonder what's the next you'll do... And would be okay if I read all the posts in this blog and then I start posting comments like crazy? (I feel so nude without smilies...)

    3. I've moved on to The Wainwrights now, and you can post wherever you damn well please xx

      I feel the lack of smilies too :(

  5. Ahh Yves is cute. I hope him and Claire live happily ever after :)

    1. So do I... won't know until next time around with them though :/

  6. lol...the French accent must have won her over!

    Still love your humour :-)

    1. I thought so too ;) and thankyou! Haven't had chance to catch up with you for ages, Kat - I hope you're well xx

    2. I'm good thank you... just not online as much as I'd like.
      Work is insane at the moment and much as I love you and Webby I cannot keep up with the pace of your forum, you guys move fast. lol
      But I've got a subscription to your blog so I'll always be over to check it out when you update :)

    3. Bless your heart - you'll have to pop back into the forum, so much happens all the time but it's really easy to just slot in, because everyone's so nice... except for yours truly *cheesy grin*

  7. Just caught up Lily, you write the funniest stories, man I almost wet myself at the

    "Zay are UNDERPANTS... not KNICKERS! A Frenchman does not wear KNICKERS!!!"

    OMG! too funny, bless you for today's smile..

    1. Happy to be of service *blows kiss* :D xx